Finding out one of your friends, sisters, neighbors or daughters is pregnant is such an exciting thing. There are so many little moments to look forward to, like a baby shower, or ultrasound pictures, or baby onesies with little pastel ducks on them (those are my favorite). While we can all get caught up in the anticipation of the new baby, it’s important to understand how we can give our best support to the mom-to-be during this time as well. Her life is about to change dramatically and everyone’s situation is certainly different.
Here are some simple ideas of ways you can support and care for her during pregnancy:
Check-In
This one might seem obvious. The point here is to not just check in on her to get a baby update, but also just check in on her. Ask her how she is doing, or what her plans are for the week, or how work is going. A lot of her life right now revolves around growing her baby, and it’s important to remind her that she still matters. Her worth is not dependent on her pregnancy, and she still has things going on in her life that she might want to share with you.
Compliment Her
As her body is growing and changing as it nurtures her baby, continue to compliment her. She may be going through a hard time accepting the way she looks, and a little compliment can go a long way. And remember, compliment her on more than just her growing bump!
Affirm her Choices
Every expectant parent has to make a choice on how to raise their child. If they decide to share some of their parenting techniques with you, remember that they have made these decisions about their child based on the values and goals they have as a family. It isn’t helpful to say negative things or critique any of their choices. Remember, what’s best for the baby is to have parents who care enough to make hard decisions about its upbringing. Be respectful of these choices.
Be Understanding
Pregnancy hits every woman in different ways. Some women are less affected, and life continues almost normally. For others, the nine months of pregnancy can be brutal in every way. Be patient with your pregnant friend, and let her know that you love her through it all. If she stops going out to meet you for dinner, it’s probably because she’s tired, not because she’s avoiding you. Or if she cancels at the last minute, maybe she just got a bout of nausea and morning sickness and physically can’t make it. Be patient with her, and continue to adapt to her and her needs.
Get Excited With Her
She probably has a ton of things she wants to share with you, but thinks you don’t want to hear about it. Whether it’s telling you about her research on the different types of cloth diapers, or the little details of her nursery designs, it’s important to show her that she can come to you with these things. Matching her excitement level will make her want to tell you more, and get her even more excited about things.
Supporting your pregnant friend during such an exciting time of her life can be really bonding for the two of you, but also remember that things are changing. Although it’s hard to admit, your relationship with her is going to change, and that’s good. Her baby should be the most important person to her, and tending to its well-being is on the top of her priority list. But this doesn’t mean that she’s forgotten about you, or doesn’t value you anymore. Be patient as you both navigate your relationship as she steps into motherhood. Preparing yourself for this change is the key to success, and supporting her through the transition will make it easier on your relationship with her.
